Can i get a little advice on this rap i just redid so i need it?

you have to put more rhyming into it and plus the context that you write is not even rap, it's lyrics for a rock or emo rock song. in order to make a rap song, each line consist of 8-16 syallables and the syallables count is consistent for each one to make it flow and that your rhyming i still simple. As a experience ghost writer, i will say that liberation and situation is still considered easy rhyming since you don't know a thing that's call multi. Use it and also use internal rhyme or any other complex rhyme sceme you can think off.